Jesus assured his apprentices, "He who has
found his life will lose it, and he who has lost his life for My sake will
find it" (Matthew 10:39). It's apparent that Jesus speaks of two different
aspects of "life"--or "self." But are we clear as to
what the two different "selves" might be?
What would it look like to perceive the two selves--in psychological
terms--as the "false self" and the "true self"?
Your false self is a mask, an external self, your self-image, your
"ego," your expectations, your adaptive self. Your false self
finds value in such dubious measures as pleasure, praise, power, prestige,
position, popularity, productivity, possessions, perfection. Your false
self loves to read "People" magazine. If you've ever felt
offense, resisted responsibility, suffered humiliation, denied pain and
loss, you've engaged your false self.
When you were young, it's quite possible that your false self may have
served a role in your physical and emotional survival. As an adult,
however, your false self has likely outlived its purpose. Wisdom encourages
you to thank your false self for its years of fidelity and kindly invite it
to step aside.
Reframing Jesus words, then, "He who has found worth in his false self
will lose it, but he who has lost his false self for My sake will find his
true self."
As apprentices of Jesus we are called to lose our "false self" to
find our "true self." But, short of losing our false self, we try
instead to repair it or to anesthetize it. Our false self thus becomes the
seat of our attachments, our addictions, or--as one celebrated recovery
program describes them--our hurts, habits, and hang-ups.
The lie is that our false self dies a grand fiery death and that the true
self then rises from the ashes in a single brilliant transformative moment.
Daily failures then feel like complete failures and with them, hope is
abandoned. In reality, however, Jesus' apprentices daily "take up
their cross"--daily dying and rising, dying and rising, dying and
rising--as they loosen the grip on their false self and embrace their true
self. Life and life abundant.
Trust the process.
Further, we might frame the contrast between false self and true self as
flesh and spirit. To live from the place of the true self, or the spirit,
is to be--as Jesus described--"pure in heart," or, "of one
mind." As Paul admonished the Romans:
For the mind set on the flesh is death, but the
mind set on the Spirit is life and peace (Romans 8:6).
To the Galatians, Paul described what the true self--the mind set on the
Spirit--looks like:
But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy,
peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness,
self-control; against such things there is no law. Now those who belong to
Christ Jesus have crucified the flesh with its passions and desires. If we
live by the Spirit, let us also walk by the Spirit. Let us not become
boastful, challenging one another, envying one another (Galatians 5:22-26).
"He who has found his life will lose it, and he who has lost his life
for My sake will find it." And
how.
How does this learning inform your past and present experience around
spiritual transformation?
The great struggle of spiritual transformation is to get the "ego,"
the "I," out of God's way. What's the "one thing"
that's stopping you?
What's the relevance of Galatians 5:26 to verses 22-25, quoted above?
Mightn't it be possible that boasting, challenging, envying, are
manifestations of the false self?
My thoughts in response:
Michael-
Your teaching reminded me of the contrast I
found in studying Buddhism. Buddhism's goal of going beyond self toward
enlightenment is to live in detachment, thus abandoning aggression toward
others. Your Christ-centric approach sets a goal of getting past ego/false
self through finding our true selves, thus allowing us to fully live in the
fruits of the spirit of love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness,
faithfulness, gentleness, and self control. Those fruits offer anything but
detachment, but rather a life lived fully and abundantly in service.
I really see this contrast as a study in the
bifurcation of today's societal expectations and norms. In business we call
the contrast "relationship-" versus "transactional-"
orientation. To establish a relationship we need to set aside false self
and live in the spirit of service. To conduct a transaction we need only to
detach from the counterparty and complete the interaction before moving on.
Are we not, in many ways, using that detachment
goal as our moral compass in our culture today? Why has the shoulder shrug
replaced the leaning in with fixed eye-to-eye intentionality? Where did the
expressions "Whatever!" and "It is what it is" come
from? Why is Caller ID's most frequent usage avoidance rather than informed
responsiveness?
In my view, espousing Buddhist detachment
practice makes it easier to express, verbally or non-verbally,
interactively or passively, that our humanity is being selfishly withheld.
For the Christian, however, the call to service creates within the mind and
heart a purposeful seeking out of opportunities to find, listen to, understand,
assist, heal, and walk beside, our fellow man.
Christianity, then, is a very different path.
Sometimes exhausting, it can be rejuvenated through retreat into
solitude... But even the solitude carries a purpose of rest, examination,
and re-creation to re-enter ministry and service in a more profound way.
Thank you for constantly weaving the tapestry
of our faith with threads of wisdom, experience, and reflection.
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