LOVE, TIME, DEATH

”We are here to connect.

Life is about people.

Love. Time. Death.

These three abstractions connect every single human being on earth.

We long for love.

We wish we had more time. And we fear death.

Love. Time. Death.

Let’s begin there.”

-      - Will Smith, Collateral Beauty

“Some men turn away from all this cheap emotion with a kind of heroic despair…But this too can be an error. For if our emotions really die in the desert, our humanity dies with them.”

-     -  Thomas Merton

Consider the two quotes above. Both Will Smith and Thomas Merton had the same perspective on human emotion - that it is indelibly inked into our human psyche. Maybe we are hard-wired to harness all emotions toward reconciling our lives to these three abstractions, as they are truly gifts we as human beings can uniquely call our own: Love, Time, and Death.

Depending on your view of Creation, these gifts come to you from different sources. But for the purposes of this exercise, that doesn’t matter. What matters is the love in your heart, how you use your time, and, as a consequence of both, what legacy your death imprints upon those you leave behind.

Once again, we are faced with the “in and out” of things. Love, although sometimes approaching us from without, must and can only be returned from within. Time, in its abstract nature, comes entirely from without. And death not only comes from without, but too often comes without notice.

Our legacy, then, is the end game. Based on decisions we make with the love we receive and give in our time from birth to death, our impression on those we have touched can range from uniquely indelible to sadly forgettable. And I believe we can agree that the more memorable our legacy, the more fulfilled we were while we were here.

Merton implies that to be fully human is to face raw emotion consciously and willingly. But I don’t think he was talking about navigating petty frustrations, or the ups and downs experienced in any given day.

I think he was characterizing a life fulfilled as a life of inner contentment and peace:

“Happiness is not a matter of intensity but of balance, order, rhythm and harmony.”

Each day’s promise is best met with a heart filled with courage, ready to accept, or change, the circumstances with which we are confronted.  Happiness as a long term goal embeds itself in the balance we can manage around our three guideposts: Love. Time. Death.

We know we long for love... let us seek its warmth and solace.

We realize we wish we had more time... let us use what we have wisely.

And we understand that we fear death... keeping our legacy in mind, let us remaining clear-eyed about what brings fulfillment, and we will be well on our way to finding our life’s purpose. 

A closing thought from Buddhist nun Pema Chodron:

“…feelings like disappointment, embarrassment, irritation, resentment, anger, jealousy, and fear, instead of being bad news, are actually very clear moments that teach us where it is that we’re holding back. They teach us to perk up and lean in when we feel we’d rather collapse and back away. They’re like messengers that show us, with terrifying clarity, exactly where we’re stuck. This very moment is the perfect teacher, and, lucky for us, it’s with us wherever we are.”