ANOTHER PERSPECTIVE

 

 

Recently I published “Perspective,” a blogpost honoring women who made the courageous choice, months ago or even decades ago, to end their marriages in part, and often in large part, because they felt their children would not be raised to their fullest potential with the father she had chosen for them.

 

Today I want to offer yet another perspective for your consideration… that of the brave men in similar situations. I know many of these men, and I’m sure you do too. Some saved their child-to-be from a life-ending procedure and accepted 100% parenting duties for life. These are the soccer coach dads who want to ensure their little girl’s safety and athletic progress. Others stay in marriages which might have been easier to end, because the children and the family would suffer financially, emotionally, or both, in their absence. They work all day and fly home to ensure the household works all night… homework done, PTO meeting attended, and pizza party organized. And then there are the men who stepped up and married the woman with whom they had fallen in love, willingly and lovingly enveloping into that new family unit her children left behind by a former spouse. They can be seen on a Friday afternoon consoling a child with suitcase packed when biological dad calls with another excuse as to why he’s canceling the weekend together.

 

These men must stand shoulder to shoulder with the other parents (mostly Moms) at the bakery sales and Christmas fairs and choir practices. They must make decisions that blending family’s face every day with equal consideration of their own biological children, and those they have inherited through a loving marriage. They accept responsibility without complaint, and deserve our respect and admiration.

 

So what is our perspective when we meet these men? Do we feel awkward not knowing how to approach them? Do we struggle to arrange activities in which they can feel comfortable? Or is our perspective such that we cannot integrate them into our social paradigm?

 

When I think of the sacrifice and the character that each of these men exhibits, I pray that we can at least show the same virtues, and be sure to seek them out, acknowledge their importance in our society, and love them for the men they have chosen to be. For it is their example that sets the tone for young boys who will become the fathers of tomorrow. And our world is in desperate need of their bravery and valor.