In his 1960 book “Love and Responsibility,” Karol Wojtyla (who would in 1978 become Pope John-Paul II) explains that “tenderness is the ability to feel with and for the whole person, to feel even the most deeply hidden spiritual tremors, and always to have in mind the true good of that person.”
I am
intrigued by the term “spiritual tremors.” And when those spiritual tremors are
“most deeply hidden” they can only be the stirrings of the Holy Spirit.
If tenderness allows me to feel them, I can follow the best example of
living in tenderness, in Jesus. He lived and loved tenderly; he touched the
leper, he welcomed the tax collector, he forgave even from the cross.
Jesus lived in love and connection, tenderly.
But Jesus
also flipped over the tables in the temple. He danced at the wedding at Cana.
He endured hunger and thirst, pain and suffering. He lived a vibrant life while
extending a tender heart. And we are called to imitate him.
I wonder if
you find this deep reflection as pertinent in your life today as I do. I wonder
if you see the challenge of carving out a life of vibrancy and tenderness and
love, in a world not particularly inclined to that formula. Follow me
along the thought pattern that these ideas have evoked in me. If you find your
story tucked inside, we’ll call it, as my friend Michael calls it,
Provendipity.
We read in
John 10:10 about the abundant life God calls us to. I believe that means we are
called to live in love, “always to have in mind the true good of that person.”
We are made for love… made for connection. And however elusive it may
seem, tenderness makes love blossom. The tenderness Jesus models is captured in
every encounter depicted in Scripture… we see him being present to God in
prayer, choosing and living among his disciples, and teaching them to live
boldly among adversaries, and to go out and meet the needs of others. He taught
presence in its most perfect form.
I have
learned that commitment to live vibrantly yet with tenderness requires me to be
intentional about the quality of my presence. How do I show up when I am with a
friend? Do I engage fully, listening by being undistracted and open?
That’s presence. First I seek to be that way with God.
Listening to God, being with other people to listen to God together, talking to
other people about my relationship with God, all take practice, but by making
working on my relationship with God a priority, my bandwidth for living the
abundant life for which He sent His Son increases exponentially.
I believe the
Holy Spirit is inviting me to a deeper layer of my story. By beginning to see
life through the lens of those I love and who love God, I turn from my need to
control what goes on around me as I learn to trust God. I also sense that the
Holy Spirit may be encouraging me to live life with more vibrancy. I want to be
all in for the full spectrum of what life has to offer…I want to show up
boldly and say what really needs to be said, out loud. It feels like a mandate
in my soul to bring color and even vibrancy to a formally beige world and a
formerly reticent way of communicating to others. I now see that reticence has
limited not only my story but the story I tell about the influence of the Lord
in my heart and soul, and in my life, the vibrancy I feel in my soul, and the
passion that drives what I believe, who I care about, and how I show tenderness
and compassion. I want to be so attuned to others and their vibrancy, and to
relate to what they need, that I can resonate with them, we can resonate
mutually, and I can meet their needs boldly and effectively.
I pray that
the Lord will integrate these ideas into my heart, soul, mind and strength so
that they can take root, I can grow in holiness, and I can more effectively go
forward in my faith walk.
I especially
pray that I can deepen my ability to love tenderly and compassionately…
graciously and gratefully when I am loved in return, but also equally
graciously and gratefully when I am not loved in return. For that is the
faithfulness we encounter through our loving God, through his ever-forgiving
Son, and through the inspiring Holy Spirit.
“Let us
hold fast the confession of our hope without wavering, for he who promised is
faithful".
-Hebrews
10:23
Finally, may
I be firm in my resolve. I want to come up higher so I can see the way the Lord
sees, and put on the mind of Christ; and I want to go deeper so that I am not
reactionary, but rather intentional in my resolve. I pray that the Lord will
take me out of the places where I have seen myself or others wrongly, through
assumptions or wrong thinking, and allow me to see them as made in His image
and worthy of my tenderness and compassion.
May I grow,
like a live oak, firm but not brittle, interconnected to truth and love at the
root, to remain in His love and rooted in Him. In His power, may I let things
go from my life that are not serving me any longer, to make room for a better
version of myself. And in doing so, may I see life vibrantly, live life
lovingly, and love others tenderly.
So… do you relate? Can you proclaim, without restraint or reservation:
I am made
for connection… I am made to receive love and to give love,
with
vibrancy nested in tenderness.
"So that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith,
that you, being rooted and grounded in love,
may have strength to comprehend with all the saints
what is the breadth and length and height and depth,
and to know the
love of Christ that surpasses knowledge,
that you may be filled with all the
fullness of God.”
-Ephesians 3:17-19