SIGNS OF RECOVERY AND SPIRITUAL MATURITY: HUMILITY, GRATITUDE, AND COMPASSION

HUMILITY

Thomas Merton had a lot to say about humility.  First, he saw that its antithesis, pride, had a dehumanizing effect:

“Pride makes us artificial and humility makes us real.”

He also felt that patience in listening allowed the humble person his turn to speak in a softer voice but with a louder effect:

“It is not speaking that breaks our silence, but the anxiety to be heard. The words of the proud man impose silence on all others, so that he alone may be heard. The humble man speaks only in order to be spoken to.”

Merton saw humility as an invocation to God’s mercy:

“The humble man also loves himself, and seeks to be loved and honored, not because love and honor are due to him but because they are not due to him. He seeks to be loved by the mercy of God.”

Merton cautioned against false humility, characterizing it as worse than pride:

“Suppose that my "poverty" be a secret hunger for spiritual riches: suppose that by pretending to empty myself, pretending to be silent, I am really trying to cajole God into enriching me with some experience--what then? Then everything becomes a distraction.”

And so we see that we walk a razor’s edge in striving to attain a heightened awareness of our own humility so that we may live having a keen sense of audience, learn from the loud and the soft voices around us, experience those who seek to demean as well as those who elevate and respect, and react with a clarity of purpose in knowing our true selves.

It has been my experience that people entering recovery from trauma or addiction show early signs of pride and arrogance, then, as their inner spirit ignites, they begin to walk a path of humility.  On my journey, seeing that transformation in myself and others has been humbling in itself.

GRATITUDE

Merton realizes that humility is closely followed by gratitude, as the newly-enlightened soul quickly discounts complaint and sees with new eyes the good around her:

“Those who are not grateful soon begin to complain of everything.”

Merton presents true gratitude in the shadow of its counterpart, hypocrisy: “True gratitude and hypocrisy cannot exist together. They are totally incompatible. ... Gratitude therefore takes nothing for granted, is never unresponsive, is constantly awakening to new wonder and praise of the goodness of God. For the grateful man knows that God is good, not by hearsay, but by experience. And that is what makes all the difference.”

In recovery, a person sees challenges as opportunities, past mistakes as learning platforms, and weaknesses as future strengths.  The natural (but damaging) emotions of and jealousy and envy are certainly prevalent in their taunting appearances, but the overwhelming focus on all the things for which she has to be grateful can, over time, render those temptations fruitless. 

Can we remember times when we began a grateful thought and it somehow, almost mid-thought, morphed into a wish sounding something like “I wish I had that…” or “I wish I could do that…” or, worst of all, “I don’t know why he got that, as I deserved it more!”  Here is when contemplation in solitude can reverse such thinking.  I find that a mental checklist of all the grace which has been bestowed upon me crowds out such counterproductive thinking and reminds me to stay in gratitude, as among its benefits is a clarity of mind and a positive attitude.

COMPASSION

We know that travels in Merton’s life involved studies of religions and value systems of the Far East. He was criticized by some Catholic leaders for his high praise for the wisdom learned in his study of Buddhism.  Ironically, much of what he learned is summarized in a statement he made right before his death:

“Compassion is based on a keen awareness of the interdependence of all these living beings, which are all part of one another, and all involved in one another.”

The Dalai Lama, who had spent considerable time with Merton, published an editorial in 2010 in the New York Times, entitled “Many Faiths, One Truth.”  His respect for Merton was clear:

”A main point in my discussion with Merton was how central compassion was to the message of both Christianity and Buddhism. In my readings of the New Testament, I find myself inspired by Jesus’ acts of compassion. His miracle of the loaves and fishes, his healing and his teaching are all motivated by the desire to relieve suffering.

I’m a firm believer in the power of personal contact to bridge differences, so I’ve long been drawn to dialogues with people of other religious outlooks. The focus on compassion that Merton and I observed in our two religions strikes me as a strong unifying thread among all the major faiths. And these days we need to highlight what unifies us.” http://www.nytimes.com/2010/05/25/opinion/25gyatso.html

Interesting, isn’t it, that the Dalai Lama’s reference to “these days” inspiring the need to highlight what unifies us is as relevant today as it was in 2010 when he wrote it, or in 1968 when he studied with Thomas Merton.  The editorial also highlighted the acts of compassion inspired within Judaism and Islam, and called for faith unity through action toward our individual communities in need around the world.

From such broad strokes as those written by the Dalai Lama to a global audience, we return to our own practice of solitude and study of the precepts of humility, gratitude and compassion.  Can we identify opportunities for personal growth in these areas?  Can we ignite a personal passion for action in stepping out on our recovery path with renewed commitment?  And, perhaps most importantly, can we envision happier day-to-day results which would lead to a more positive attitude more of the time?  For that is the real recovery, the true enlightenment, we seek.