STRONG BACK, SOFT FRONT

Roshi Joan Halifax, a Buddhist teacher, anthropologist, and Founder and Abbot of Upaya Institute and Zen Center in Santa Fe, New Mexico uses her Ph.D. in medical anthropology to approach difficult subjects relating to the human condition. 

In her most recent work, Standing on the Edge, Halifax identifies the 5 “Edge States” of altruism, empathy, integrity, respect, and engagement… psychological territories that she says epitomize strength of character.

When we consider each of these states in our own experience, it is Halifax”s contention that along the way to strength of character, these “edge states” cause some measure of personal and social suffering, and form “edges.”  

“It is only when we stand at these edges that we become open to the full range of our human experience and discover who we really are.”

I researched Halifax’s background after I heard one of her lectures recently. Although she was not discussing “edge states,” she was nonetheless centered on the broader premise that we are our best and truest selves when we can face suffering of any kind, internal or external, direct or indirect, and while remaining constant and strong, show deep and abiding compassion.  Her shortform for the manner in which we should carry ourselves out into this world of sometimes-glorious, sometimes-challenging encounters is ”STRONG BACK, SOFT FRONT.”

What do you think of when you hear that… when you picture yourself living from that style of personal comportment?  I find that it resonates with me.  When we know we must show openness, regardless of the strength of our conviction, how productive would it be to be soft in our communication?  How many doors might that open?

And let’s think of that mantra in relation to the “5 Edge States…”

As we travel life’s pathways, and issues or challenges or overload push us to the point of careening out of (or nearly out of) control, we enter the suffering along the “edges” of these 5 states.  

Altruism requires a soft front of clear-eyed optimism anchored in a strong back of evidence and reason.  When optimism clouds reason, or when our strong-mindedness and opinionated nature snuffs out optimism, we certainly suffer.

Empathy assumes a strong back of confidence as experience presents through a soft front of understanding.  But what of the instance where our experience is not as perfectly aligned as we think and we shower someone with an ill-guided empathy… someone will surely suffer.

Integrity is outward candor of a soft front rooted in the foundation of a strong back.  In our effort to impute our own foundational truths on any given situation, I can envision candor becoming overbearing and sullying the intent of our communication, and I can see that suffering will follow.

Respect is earned from a strong back of accomplishment and is given through a soft front of compliment and encouragement.  When respect is demanded from another rather than earned, or given to another for wrong reason, the suffering of both parties can only follow.

Engagement is always made easier with a soft front approach, and made resilient and repeatable when it is secured by a strong back.  Since this endeavor is the essence of human contact, it is fraught with the potential of suffering if boundaries are violated.

How do we go out into the world with “Strong Back, Soft Front?”

How do we perceive our relationships may change?

How do we think our self-esteem may improve?

We need to strike a balance, and perhaps implement a personal warning system to avoid careening off track in each of these areas. 

If we are successful, though, do we expect others to seek to emulate our new posture?

I think it’s worth a try.