SOMEONE WHO KNOWS YOU

I recently had a weeklong visit with my cousin Diane and clearly, in retrospect, it was long overdue. Many of you know Diane from this blog, as she has featured in many of our stories. Although telephone- and cyber-connected over the years, we have not been under the same roof overnight for over nearly two decades.

From our first morning, it was as if a magical time machine had us climbing trees, dangling feet along a riverbed, and playing baseball (there was also a storybook about the birds and the bees which our mothers were sure would put to rest any need for uncomfortable Q&A, but which unearthed more Q than A). From morning to evening we shared matters of the heart, updated each other on important personal issues, and reminisced.

The intimacy of our reunion and its enduring aftermath is not something I can put into words. But when she and I discussed whether I could put any of our visit out to our blog readers, we felt compelled to encourage others to seek out and bond with a loved-one. Someone who KNOWS you to talk to. If that someone can be of your family of origin, even better.

There are tiny bits in each of us that may call out to be reconciled. They need to be shared, talked through, in order to be better understood. But without the framework of early life context, adult conversations can prove to be either fruitless or just too much work. How much richer are our discussions when many truths about ourselves are already known or at least experienced. In our case, we found an innate ability to shortcut details (punctuated by lots of nodding), as those settings and that background were already experienced and understood.

And so the purpose of this blog is simply to encourage you to think about issues you may want to relive, reconsider, reframe, or dismiss. Find the person in your life who has known you the longest, with whom you share as many intimate details as possible, and reach out.

Try it. It might just change your life, as it did ours... and we are still synthesizing how we feel after our time together.

Our visit resonates with me constantly throughout my day.  It’s uncanny how similar we are. Even different in some ways, we still have unconditional sincere love and respect for each other. 

To have someone I love, who has known me from birth, and who knows me to my core, sacrifice time and attention in such a complete and loving way, touched me more profoundly than I can express.

We recommend an in-person, uninterrupted reunion, with no plan except letting words and stories and heart matters flow. It may result in hours of laughter and tears and emotions not felt in years. Your conversations may feel like onion-peeling, as you go deeper and find new truths. You may wake up each morning refreshed even though sleep-deprived. And you may find the only word you don’t want to share is “goodbye.”